Crystal Asige, a blind parliamentarian from Kenya, once shared a quote with Zanele that deeply resonated: ‘If what you see is all you can see, then you cannot see all there is to be seen.’ For Zanele, this perfectly encapsulates unlearning and relearning. We must learn to hold on when it’s right, but also to let go when it’s necessary.

To bring this to life, Zanele shared stories that provided the very lessons needed to achieve this. She told the story of the little girl and the turkey. The little girl watched her mother cut off a small piece off the top of the turkey before placing it in the oven. Curious, she asked why. Her mother explained it was a family tradition, passed down through generations, and one day she would do the same. The little girl then asked her great-grandmother about it, expecting to uncover a rich family custom. Instead, her great-grandmother explained she had only cut off the turkey’s top because her oven was too small – she had no idea why her descendants continued the habit. The lesson? Question conditioning. When you feel most defensive about a belief or tradition, that’s the moment to ask why. Psychology even shows us that much of what we call ‘personality’ is simply adaptive traits we developed early in life to survive our environment.

Zanele’s second story was about two monks. One was young and new to the order, the other older and seasoned. As they walked, they came upon a woman who was afraid to cross a bridge. Without hesitation, the elder monk carried her across. She thanked him, and they continued on. Troubled, the young monk finally confronted his elder: how could he hold a woman after taking vows? The elder calmly replied, ‘I put her down at the bridge, but you’re still carrying her.’ The lesson: the meaning we attach to events often outweighs the events themselves. In organisations, this shows up when people cling to their interpretations, letting them shape whether they resist or embrace change. Beware of the meanings you hold onto, and the assumptions you assign.

The final story was of a traveller who fell in love with parrots at an African market. He brought one home, gave it a spacious cage, food, and care. Years later, returning to Africa, he asked his parrot if it had a message for its friends. The parrot said asked him to convey that he was well, he liked his cage, and that he was fine. When the traveller delivered the message, one parrot wept and dropped dead. Shocked, the traveller returned home and told his own parrot what had happened. His parrot cried, collapsed, and seemed to die. Heartbroken, the traveller laid it outside in the grass. But suddenly, the parrot revived and flew to freedom. The parrot explained: ‘My friend’s message was that to be free, I had to die while alive.’ The lesson: true readiness for change requires the courage to let go of your current version of self.

Zanele tied these stories back to identity. We often define ourselves by our work, our families or even our possessions. But our identity is also shaped by the people in our ecosystem. That’s why change can feel like a threat – it destabilises who we think we are. In organisations, restructuring often fails because we don’t manage this identity shift.

She closed with the timeless words of Heraclitus: ‘No man ever steps into the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man.’ Every experience reshapes us. We are not the same as we were a year ago. Zanele’s call to action was clear: keep learning, unlearning, and relearning.

Ubuntu Members can access the recording from the event! Find out more…

Crystal Asige, a blind parliamentarian from Kenya, once shared a quote with Zanele that deeply resonated: ‘If what you see is all you can see, then you cannot see all there is to be seen.’ For Zanele, this perfectly encapsulates unlearning and relearning. We must learn to hold on when it’s right, but also to let go when it’s necessary.

To bring this to life, Zanele shared stories that provided the very lessons needed to achieve this. She told the story of the little girl and the turkey. The little girl watched her mother cut off a small piece off the top of the turkey before placing it in the oven. Curious, she asked why. Her mother explained it was a family tradition, passed down through generations, and one day she would do the same. The little girl then asked her great-grandmother about it, expecting to uncover a rich family custom. Instead, her great-grandmother explained she had only cut off the turkey’s top because her oven was too small – she had no idea why her descendants continued the habit. The lesson? Question conditioning. When you feel most defensive about a belief or tradition, that’s the moment to ask why. Psychology even shows us that much of what we call ‘personality’ is simply adaptive traits we developed early in life to survive our environment.

Zanele’s second story was about two monks. One was young and new to the order, the other older and seasoned. As they walked, they came upon a woman who was afraid to cross a bridge. Without hesitation, the elder monk carried her across. She thanked him, and they continued on. Troubled, the young monk finally confronted his elder: how could he hold a woman after taking vows? The elder calmly replied, ‘I put her down at the bridge, but you’re still carrying her.’ The lesson: the meaning we attach to events often outweighs the events themselves. In organisations, this shows up when people cling to their interpretations, letting them shape whether they resist or embrace change. Beware of the meanings you hold onto, and the assumptions you assign.

The final story was of a traveller who fell in love with parrots at an African market. He brought one home, gave it a spacious cage, food, and care. Years later, returning to Africa, he asked his parrot if it had a message for its friends. The parrot said asked him to convey that he was well, he liked his cage, and that he was fine. When the traveller delivered the message, one parrot wept and dropped dead. Shocked, the traveller returned home and told his own parrot what had happened. His parrot cried, collapsed, and seemed to die. Heartbroken, the traveller laid it outside in the grass. But suddenly, the parrot revived and flew to freedom. The parrot explained: ‘My friend’s message was that to be free, I had to die while alive.’ The lesson: true readiness for change requires the courage to let go of your current version of self.

Zanele tied these stories back to identity. We often define ourselves by our work, our families or even our possessions. But our identity is also shaped by the people in our ecosystem. That’s why change can feel like a threat – it destabilises who we think we are. In organisations, restructuring often fails because we don’t manage this identity shift.

She closed with the timeless words of Heraclitus: ‘No man ever steps into the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man.’ Every experience reshapes us. We are not the same as we were a year ago. Zanele’s call to action was clear: keep learning, unlearning, and relearning.

Ubuntu Members can access the recording from the event! Find out more…